Violence

About a month ago it was the international day for elimination of violence against women. Or something like that. Good day to have, though I wonder if it would be better to stick with a day celebrating non-violence. It's less of a mouthful, more positive, and applicable to more situations. Men get violence used against them too. But lets not get picky. So I wrote down a couple of thoughts of violence on that day, and today I'm putting them up on the web.

To truly appreciate violence we should realize it goes beyond physical harm. Violence can come in many forms, it doesn't have to be obvious, it can be subtle. Today I want to look at what the root of subtle, non-physical violence. It probably doesn't encompass everything related to violence, it's a big picture, but hopefully this sheds light on part of the picture.

I think the it occurs you're asserting your own will against someone else. Like controlling someone by using guilt or their own fears and insecurities to get what you want. Even small discussions can contain some violence; when your objective is no longer to discuss ideas, but to destroy your opponents argument, the discussion is a violent one.

Now, some people are naturally violent. Actually, I'm think most - if not all - people are violent. Not overly physically violent, but we all have violent tendencies. We have a tendency to push our own agendas and ignore other peoples agendas. Fortunately, most of us only do this in arguments, and usually we don't push our own agenda so far that it explicitly hurts others. Unfortunately, some people tend to do this regularly, and many people have done it at one point or another in their life.

And this is why we need to be a little violent ourselves. Because we need to be able to push back to protect our own agenda. You have authority over your own life, and should defend you own rights, otherwise you will be vulnerable to violence. But the problem here is that if we get used to responding to violence with violence, we run the risk of letting violence become a habit, and become violent ourselves.

So I think the antidote to all of this is is to respect people's authority over their own lives, and going one step further, and being committed to protecting others authority. Defend people's rights, all the while avoiding overstepping your boundaries. At times you may need to be a little, violent?, to protect others, but beware- this can be especially seductive, as sometimes it can feel like you're being the hero, but in reality you're the villain. The key to this is to be committed to the wellbeing of others, especially those who you disagree with. That means you're not a hero, they're not a villain. You're both people who need to learn.

If you're committed to the wellbeing of others, especially those who you disagree with, and respecting their authority over their own lives, I'd say it's a good step towards a non-violence.